So…that actually happened to me last week. I was going over some menus with a chef we work with and I ended the call saying, “Well that all sounds great. Love you. ‘Bye!”
Cue the awkward pause where my brain caught up to my mouth. Usually I am fairly calm in strange situations, using humor to deflect awkwardness. So that’s what my brain said to do. Make a joke. Unfortunately, a strange string of sentence fragments started emerging from my lips.
“Oh, well, I mean, of course I don’t love you…Actually, I DO love you…You’re so great to…the thing is that I talk to my kids several times a day and we usually end with I love you. You probably understand…you have kids…”
Now my brain is saying “ABORT! ABORT! STOP MAKING WORDS WITH YOUR MOUTH!” But it continued.
“So anyway..that happened. How weird. Ha Ha. End of day. Bye.”
Mercifully, I hung up, thinking, “What the @#($U(# does ‘end of day’ mean?” I could have kept this humiliation to myself but decided to mention it to a friend. I mean it WAS kind of funny. When I told the story, my friend immediately said, “I’ve done it too. I said it to a director of the Fortune 500 company I was working at. I said it. I hung up and then thought, ‘wait, what?’ I spent the next week waiting for HR police to come and fire me. I still talk to him and we laugh about it.”
I mentioned it to some other friends and most had some version of this story to tell. Science (or possibly an infomercial I watched late at night) tells us that a woman’s brain works differently than the brain of a man. We have more things lighting up on both the left side and right side of a brain, which helps us be master multi-taskers. It probably also causes an inadvertent mixing of worlds. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.